The adventures of Zabuza and the Bunny
by Senbon Missing Nin
Summary: in the little kid's voice on the Money Ball commercial It's just so random I can barely control it! "Chapter Two: Wearing Pink and The Squirrel Door" Is up
1. PettingTheBunny Zabuza'sAdventureBegins

Disclaimer: I don't OWN Naruto. Because if I did, uh...this would probably happen at some point. But then again, probably not. But I can assure you; Rock Lee would NOT be there. Because I hate him. And Gai wouldn't be there either. Because I hate him too. Don't even ASK me why.

The adventures of Zabuza and the Bunny Chapter One: Petting The Bunny. Zabuza's adventure begins.

So I will start off this fic by stating that Zabuza is walking down the street. Oh how he is walking. He's walking with the bunny too. You know which bunny it is, don't you? It's that bunny that Haku has. That one that doesn't really even HAVE a name. But I'm calling him Kirika. Even if I will be calling him The Bunny anyway. I name him Kirika. Because I can. Even though I won't CALL him that in the fic. I will call him The Bunny. Or the bunny. Because I can. If it makes no sense to you, just pretend it does. Because I don't feel like explaining things that don't need explaining.

So, as I was saying. Zabuza is walking down the street holding the bunny. While walking down the street. Holding the bunny. Yes, that's exactly what Zabuza is doing. So, Zabuza holds the bunny. As he walks down the street. Because he can. Well, actually. Let's just say that he's holding the bunny and walking down the street because Haku told him to get um.............bunny food. Yeah. Zabuza is walking down the street, holding the bunny because Haku told him to go buy bunny food.So Zabuza walks. And as he walks he starts petting the bunny. Did I mention that this bunny is white? Yes. It's white. Not because it's being a bunny that's held in a cage for the use of body switching. It's white because it's a snow bunny and it's winter. So does that mean Zabuza is walking on a snowy street, with the bunny, But was he doing this while petting the bunny? He might be. And he IS. But let's just say that's it's not. It's just snowing. Lightly. Because that's the kind of picture that's in my head right now. Even though when I first started this fic I pictured it being in the middle of that place on Episode Eighty four in Sasuke's flashback that wasn't snowing and the Uchiha Clan was hang up those little lamp thingys. If you haven't seen it that episode yet, just um...pretend I was talking about some road in Konoha. But now, after reading over this I realize that the Uchiha Clan is in Konoha, isn't it? So really, I just told you to picture a street in Konoha that you could have already been picturing in the first place, whether you saw the episode or not.As I was saying, Zabuza is walking down the street. Petting the bunny. In the snow. So the bunny is white, and Zabuza is getting the bunny food. Because Haku said so. So he walks. Then he starts cuddling the bunny. I'm not sure why though. But he does. He's cuddling the bunny as he walks in the snow. Toward some store that has bunny food. Because Haku told him to go get bunny food. Therefore he is. Zabuza didn't really even need to take the bunny with him. But he wanted to because secretly, Zabuza doesn't want Haku to have the bunny because he wants the bunny all to himself to practice Body Switching. But that's not really the reason. We're just supposed to believe it is.Zabuza is walking down the street and petting the bunny. He is also cuddling the bunny. While walking in the snow. As he does those things he is also going to some store without a name. Oh how he is.While Zabuza is doing all of these things. I, The Author am looking at a Manga scan of chapter eleven. While doing THAT I just so happen to have zoomed in on some of the flowers by the bunny. And do you know what I saw? I see that there were faces. What if those faces eat the bunny while everyone is looking away? How can we let this happen?! Those flowers could be the reason that the things happening in the fic never took place! Gasp. Those flowers are of the devil........If you want to, you can just skip everything in the previous paragraph about my wonderful discovery about the those evil hell-bent flowers that want to eat our poor little bunny and want to destroy the purpose of the fic. But you probably didn't. So I apologize for adding something so pointless. But I felt I needed to tell you because I think you should know all of the freakish details of the chapter, and all the things that might have, or really DID happen in the Manga and anime that they cut out to protect our poor bunny, and because I feel that you need to know that those flowers are RIGHT next to the bunny on chapter eleven in the second Manga. Let us hope that I discover nothing like the flowers with faces that want to hurt our poor friend The Bunny without a name again. Ever again. I guess this is just another strange thing about the Naruto world.So, while I was going on and on about the flowers, Zabuza decided that he was going to stroke the bunny, while petting it and holding it and walking down the street in the snow all because of Haku wanting him to go buy bunny food. While Zabuza was doing all of these things he passed many, many buildings. As he did that he was petting the bunny. He was also stroking it and holding it. I wonder how long I can go on writing this fic without having anyone say anything. Because to tell you the truth, I don't intend to have them speak. Unless perhaps it's the bunny. Because we all love the bunny. Including Zabuza who is stroking it, petting it and holding it. Because what kind of person would hold a bunny, stroke it and pet it all at the same time while walking in the snow all the way to some store that probably doesn't even exist if the person didn't love the bunny? Right. No one. Everyone must love the bunny. Including me, the author/Narrator thing. Because I don't really even like bunnies. But everyone must love them, including me because it IS Haku's bunny and everyone must love Haku and all his belongings because I say so.If all of this petting and holding and stroking is scaring you, you can go hide behind Sasuke. Because according to HyperRiceball he's just too sexy for his own feet.Zabuza kept walking. He kept walking and holding the bunny. He also kept petting the bunny. And stroking it too. But don't you dare say that there is no difference between stroking and petting. Because there is. But don't ask me what it is. You won't get an answer.

As Zabuza was multi-tasking things that involved the bunny, the bunny decided he was hungry NOW. So he secretly ate an invisible carrot that's only visual to a bunny. So that the bunny would get real food later on. Because this bunny is a greedy bunny who eats and eats and eats and never poops because he's like the Drug Co. Dog on The Drew Carry Show. But apparently he's not the fastest thing on four-legs. But really, this bunny is special. So he can still run as fast as a bunny can no matter how much like the Drug Co. Dog he really is.

Zabuza decided that he was tired of going the same direction for the past three hours so he wanted to turn the corner. And he did. So he just petted and stroked and held the bunny as he changed directions and the bunny ate an invisible carrot that only bunnies can see because he's supposedly like the Drug Co. Dog. Even though invisible carrots have nothing at all to do with being like the Drug Co. Dog. But we can just say that it does, okay?As Zabuza walked down the street petting and stroking and holding the bunny that was, and still is eating an invisible carrot he passed Shikamaru. Even though Shikamaru isn't supposed to be um........in Kirigakure. So let's say that this story takes place in Konoha.Zabuza is walking down the streets of Konoha while stroking and holding and petting the snow bunny in the middle of winter, in the snow as the bunny ate an invisible carrot all because Haku told Zabuza he wanted him to buy some bunny food.You have to wonder why Zabuza is in Konoha. Did he walk ALL THE WAY TO KONOHA just to get Bunny Food? Yes. He did. So now you're probably wondering why Zabuza didn't just stay in Kirigakure to get Bunny Food. It's because he wants to keep the bunny from Haku. Because Zabuza secretly wants to keep the bunny from Haku in order to practice more Body Switching. But that's not the real reason. That's just what Zabuza wants us to think. So we will.You know what I think? I think Zabuza has been walking way too long. So now, with my Powers-Of-Authorness, and the help of Crislyn, Zabuza has decided that he wanted to skip like a little schoolgirl with pigtails. Although Zabuza doesn't HAVE pigtails, we can just pretend that he does. So now, Zabuza is skipping, holding the bunny, petting the bunny, and stroking the bunny. All because of Haku's wanting of Bunny Food.Zabuza continued on his way. Petting. Stroking. Skipping and holding the bunny. No. He's not SKIPPING the bunny. He's skipping WHILE stroking, petting, and holding the bunny. So don't confuse yourself.But as Zabuza was multi-tasking, he saw Shikamaru again. Shikamaru was sitting in the middle of the street. Yes. It's a shame that there aren't any cars. Since this IS Konoha. So, Zabuza skipped passed Shikamaru. But as he was skipping past Shikamaru, he heard Shikamaru singing the Poke' Rap. Yes. He was singing the ending theme to Pokemon. Why? Probably because Shikamaru is a freak and everyone hates him. Except me. Because I don't really care what he does. He's just some random person influencing my poor little Kazuma. But AS I was saying....Zabuza heard Shikamaru singing the Poke Rap. So, on instinct, Zabuza started singing it too. As he was singing, he was DANCING. Because it's just so funny to picture Zabuza singing and dancing while holding a little white rabbit in the middle of the street while being started at by a very confused Shikamaru since there aren't any people left in the Village for some reason.Zabuza continued singing and skipping and petting and stroking and cuddling and all while he was dancing down the street and holding a little white bunny in search of bunny food. As he did all those things, Shikamaru fallowed him. Of course no one will say anything because for some reason I'm just SO against dialogue even thinking about touching this fic. Why? I dunno. I just FEEL like not having them be all talkative-like. Even though Zabuza is SINGING.

And so, Zabuza kept up his multi-tasking. But then, just to add something to his Multi-taskingness Shikamaru runs up at the speed of fft (Really really fast) and puts a Pokeball on his head. Because it's a ball.

But then, in the corner of his eye, Zabuza saw an acorn. So, he took his multi-tasking self to where the acorn is. And stared at it. The Bunny, Being a bunny and all was still eating this invisible carrot. So Zabuza decided that he was going to pick up the acorn. But as he reached out to get it (while singing and dancing and skipping in place and holding and stroking and doing all of his multi-tasking) But then, as he was reaching out, that squirrel that Rock Lee saved on Episode 33 jumped out and stole the acorn and ran.And Zabuza RAN! And he DANCED-RAN! And he SKIPPED-DANCED-RAN! after the squirrel. While holding the bunny and petting the bunny and stroking the bunny and did all of his multi-tasking in the snow all because of Haku wanting Bunny Food. The bunny, still being a bunny, was eating the invisible carrot like the Drug Co. Bunny that he is.

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To be continued.....

By the way, the Author did NOT check over this after she finished. So she will before started chapter two. Um...review or something. 


	2. Wearing Pink and The Squirrel Door

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto. So fwah to you. Why don't I just make an extra chapter JUST for the disclaimer? Why doesn't't EVERYONE do that? Is it because we're all just LAZY? Probably.  
  
You know what I think? I don't think the squirrel was running away to protect his acorn. I think he was running in fear. He's running away because there's a big man named MOMOCHI that's running and skipping and dancing and holding a bunny and petting a bunny and stroking a bunny and hugging the bunny all at the same time, not to mention cuddling it too. He's also doing everything else he was doing. Like singing, and stuff. I'll just say he was doing all of his multi-tasking. Wouldn't that make you kind scared? Wouldn't YOU run if some guy was Multi-tasking and on top of it all CHASING you? I think you'd run too.  
  
Where was Haku during all of this? I think Haku was afraid of Zabuza. Because Zabuza has taken on this strange new habit. Multi-tasking. He's not even being remotely NORMAL about it. He's doing all these things at the exact same time. In reality, this would be very much impossible. But I guess Zabuza is just special. Besides, this isn't reality either.  
  
So as Zabuza Multi-Tasked at the Squirrel would was running away in fear, The Bunny finished his invisible carrot. Yes. That he did. The bunny decided that he had enough of Zabuza's multi-tasking and bit down on his arm. Zabuza screamed in pain. But since he was singing it sounded like he was just yelling the lyrics really really loud. So know one could really tell that he was screaming in pain and agony.  
  
The bunny SMIRKED. If that's possible. The bunny smirked at Zabuza's um....yelling. But you couldn't tell, since he IS a bunny and bunnies are animals and they have fur and you can't really see what their mouth looks like. So as far as Zabuza knew, the bunny was just being held, petted, stroked, hugged and cuddled as he was Multi-tasking.  
  
The squirrel ran at the speed of...um...a squirrel away from Zabuza. It just ran. And ran. And RAN. Trying to protect his acorn. He was running for a really long time. Zabuza was getting tired. But he couldn't stop his multi- tasking. For if he did, the world would come to an end. Or at least that's what HE thought. And since he's just some old guy that has to be right ALL THE TIME, you can't argue with him. It's just not right.  
  
They were running. Finally the Squirrel came to the destination that he was headed.  
  
Zabuza STOPPED. Not really though. He actually was just multi-tasking in place. Since he can't really stop or he'd die. In his opinion. But his opinion doesn't count for much. He looked up at the building that the squirrel had stopped at. It was called, "Konohagakure's School of Ballet". Now I'm sure you're wondering what on earth is the squirrel doing stopping at a place such as this? Well, there's a perfectly logical explanation. Now I bet you want to know what it is. So, I'll tell you.  
  
Pauses the ENTIRE world with her special author powers and pulls up a big chalk board You see, it's simple really. The squirrel either likes the music and such that they play at the Konoha Ballet school thingy. points to a music note on the chalk bored with some big stick she found in the middle of the Chuunin exam's second test. You know the one, The Forest of Death. But you know what the stick REALLY is? It's the bottom of one of those umbrellas that those people I can't remember the name of had. The ones Gaara just so happened to KILL for no reason. Maybe there was a reason. I just don't remember it. OR! It's that the squirrel secretly works for the KSOBAORO! Which stands for, "Konohagakure's School of Ballet Agency Recruit ion's Office." And he wants to recruit Zabuza as a student. Points to a poorly drawn picture of a Chibi Zabuza in a ballet suit Those are the logical explanations that I have for you today. Thank you. bows and throws the stick and chalk board away. Hears crashes and crying children I didn't hit ANYONE when I threw that. It was um....um....HE DID IT! points to Zabuza who's still frozen in mid Multi-task because of the Author's Pausing Yeah. I think I'll just GO now. Unpauses the world and goes back to wherever the Author goes when she's narrating a story  
  
The squirrel dashed into the Ballet School through a little tiny Squirrel door in the middle of the wall. Zabuza was scared. He didn't have any sort of intention of going in there. But he NEEDED that acorn. He just needed it with all his heart. So, Zabuza Multi-tasked his way through the little Squirrel Door. Only managing to get stuck. Apparenlty he didn't realize that he could have opened the door like a normal person. But since he's a guy named Momochi that has a need to Multi-Task CONSTANTLY he's not a normal person. So therefore he can't USE the door like a normal person. He must do the impossible! He must conquer the unconquerable! HE MUST USE THE SQUIRREL DOOR! KYAA SASUKE-KUN! KYAA! Er....KYAA ZABUZA-SAN! KYAA!  
  
But of course, since Zabuza was STUCK, he couldn't really do anything. So he was stuck. OH MY GOD HOW HE WAS STUCK! And since he was stuck, he couldn't Multi-task. OH THE PAIN! THE PAIN!....He squirmed and wiggled, trying to get out of the Squirrel Door.  
  
Zabuza looked up and saw it. There, right in front of him, was The Squirrel. Oh how he despised The Squirrel for doing this to him. The Squirrel, right then and there, stuck out his tongue and pulled down his eyelid and made that sound children make when they stick out their tongues and pull down their eyelids at you. You know what I'm talking about? Good. Because I can't explain it better than that.  
  
Zabuza was OUTRAGED. But he couldn't move. He was stuck in the Squirrel Door. The Bunny was till being held though and he was stilling singing that Pokemon song I forget the name of. So at least he could still Multi-task a little.  
  
The squirrel laughed at him. Oh how he laughed. He laughed like the Shrieker on Tremors Two: Aftershocks laughed at Burt when Burt was tuck in the Tractor thing. Which is REALLY scary. Because Squirrels should NOT have that ability.  
  
Zabuza didn't know what to do. He looked around frantically. Balancing the Pokeball on his head that Shikamaru had put there for no real reason but to see Zabuza balance it on his head in the chapter before this one. Thank god it hadn't fallen off, otherwise Shikamaru would be so distraught that he would run home crying like a little Konohamaru all the way to Chouji. Then he would eat and eat and eat. And soon, he'd become as fat as Chouji, and then he'd become some kind of anorexic ninja in green with holes in his shirt.  
  
The Squirrel kept laughing that laugh of a shrieker. As he laughed, he did that thing that all cartoon characters do when they laugh. He puffed up his chest and was kinda bouncing up and down. You know what I mean? If you don't, you can just pretend he's laughing like a normal person would when they laugh like a shrieker. Whatever that is.  
  
The Bunny didn't understand why Zabuza didn't just go all Kawarimi No Jutsu on the Squirrel. Was it because it requires some sort of Hand Seal? Since Zabuza can't do anything but Multi-task with his hands, he woudn't be able to perform the Jutsu correctly. So he's probably turn himself into some kind of pig. Oh how scary that would be.  
  
Zabuza, as if he was some sort of magical, magical thing like Ayame Sohma attempted to do that laugh. That scary one that Ayame does. Yeah. That one. But instead, he managed to get stucker. Yes. Stucker. If that doesn't make SENSE to you, I meant he just made it worse.  
  
So The Bunny sat there. Well, actually, The Bunny was being held there. Since Zabuza needed to do something. At THAT MOMENT Zabuza was UNSTUCK. As the author wonders why the K button hates being capitalized. How was Zabuza unstucked? Who freed him from this dreaded prison also known as The Squirrel Door? Well, it's simple. Who is the more likely person to be in a Ballet School?  
  
Rock Lee of course.  
  
Rock Lee helped Zabuza out of The Squirrel Door. The Squirrel stopped being a scary Squirrel that could laugh like a shrieker and The Bunny was just annoyed.  
  
Rock Lee was wearing something ELSE. OH MY GOD. He was wearing his usual clothes. Except they were PINK. The horror. It was really scary seeing him in pink. It's bad enough seeing him in green skin tight clothing. But for it to be PINK skin tight clothing, it made Zabuza's eyes burn. Oh how they burned. WHY DID THEY CAUSE HIM SO MUCH PAIN?! Probably because Rock Lee was in pink and it was skin tight on top of that.  
  
Zabuza was about to thank him when he realized he had to continue singing and Multi-Tasking. So he did. Rock Lee was very confused by this. But he wasn't the only one, The Bunny was confused too. The Bunny was so scared of Rock Lee that he had to eat another invisible Drug Co. Carrot to calm his nerves.  
  
The Squirrel hurried up Lee's pant leg and onto his shoulder. Staring at Zabuza. He was so scared. He was so scared because Momochi Zabuza was dancing/skipping/running in place. While singing. Rock Lee grabbed Zabuza's arm and pulled him into the Ballet Room where he found himself in a room with a bunch of FREAKS in skin tight clothing. They were all wearing pink. The entire ROOM was pink. Oh the horror. And you know who else was there?  
  
Gai insert Gai's first name here. Or is his first name Gai? I think it's Gai. So this should really be saying Insert Gai's Last name here since he's a sensei and all and he—oh forget it.  
  
Yes. That's right. Gai was there. In pink skin tight clothing. Oh it burns. How it burns. Don't even PICTURE this because it burns the eyes.  
  
The bunny, not knowing what to think, looked around. And then he noticed all the people in pink skin tight clothing doing Ballet posses. And then he did the only thing he COULD do, because his eyes burned so much he just couldn't take it anymore. So, what he did was he attempted to gouge his eyes out with the invisible carrot. Oh how he did.  
  
The world was pink. Well, just the room Zabuza was in. He felt so out of place. He stood out. Very much. It was so scary. But Zabuza was um...just Multi-tasking. So he hardly noticed. But he DID feel out of place. But he didn't know why.  
  
So, while Zabuza was Multi-tasking, no paying ANY attention to his surroundings all of the students in Gai's Ballet had the same look on their faces as the Yuki Fanclub on Fruits Basket did on the Valentines Day episode. So scary. They were slowing closing in on Zabuza and The Bunny.  
  
The Bunny noticed this and stopped attempting to gouge out his eyes with the invisible carrot and cowered in fear.  
  
Zabuza of course didn't notice. Since he was too busy doing all of his Multi-tasking to look up and see all of the scary people closing in on him with scary pink clothing.  
  
But before Zabuza knew it, he was already wearing the pink clothes. But thank god it wasn't skin tight. My eyes are burning enough. Zabuza was now dancing, running, skipping, petting, holding, stroking, singing, and just for the heck of it HUMMING in a pink tutu. Since Rock Lee and Gai ran out of skin tight clothing, so they had to give him the girl's uniform.  
  
They wanted, no they DEMANDED that Zabuza were to help them in a Ballet Recital. Zabuza attempted to decline since he had to get the Bunny Food for Haku. But they wouldn't take no for an answer. They made Zabuza learn all of the Ballet moves.  
  
They only had two days left to practice and Zabuza had no Ballet experience except from that time when his parents sent him off the Ballet Camp in the second grade. Zabuza was kinda just sitting there. Multi-tasking. He studied the moves carfully. And finally, he got them all down. He could do them PERFECT.  
  
MOMOCHI ZABUZA WAS THE PERFECT BALLET DANCER IN KONOHAGAKURE. Next to Gaara. Gaara was officially his Rival in the competition. Gaara demanded that they make this, not only the most important Ballet Recital in Konohagakure history, but to make it a competition and invite all of the ninjas from all over the world. Just to see them. You see, Gaara is a very competitive person. He had always longed for this day. When he could show off his Ballet Skills. Since he was so hated when he was young, he never got the proper lessons. But he KNEW he was better than all of them. Even Uchiha Sasuke. His biggest and bestest rival of them all.  
  
There he was. Uchiha Sasuke in those pink tights, and frilly pink shirt. Since the Uchiha couldn't stand wearing anything close to what Rock Lee was wearing, he got to wear special clothing. He got to wear what he called, "The Official Uchiha Ballet Uniform". It had been passed down from Uchiha to Uchiha. Finally, it was his turn to shine. He was tired of Itachi getting all the glory. It was his turn.  
  
Sasuke jumped up out of his seat. He was ready. Oh how he was ready. He was going to show Konohagakure, Naruto, and all of those Kages that he could do this better than ANY of them. He walked right up to Zabuza and did something he had always wanted to do. ALWAYS. He got up and poked him in the eye. Because for some reason, that's just what he had always wanted to do since the first time he laid eyes on him. He quickly trotted back to his seat and sat down as if he had never moved from his spot and poked Zabuza in the eye for no apparent reason.  
  
Gaara and Sasuke. They had been rival ever since they discovered they had the same dream. They both wanted to be the best Ballet Dancers in the entire world. So they glared at each other from the other side of the room. Sasuke had his eyes all Sharigan-like and Gaara had his eyes extra dark with the Eye shadow he stole from Temari earlier that day.  
  
Zabuza was so confused. He didn't understand how he got stuck doing this ballet recital. It was so childish. But he didn't care. Since he was Multi- tasking. And as long as he was Multi-tasking, nothing could stand in his way.  
  
Except Rock Lee.  
  
Rock Lee stood there. In front of him. Looking up at his with his stupid toothy-toothpaste-commercial-smile. It DINGed like usual. Zabuza stared down at him. Balancing the poke ball on his head, humming and singing all at the same time.  
  
Gaara was disgusted. He didn't understand how Sasuke could want to destroy his dreams of becoming the best Ballet Dancer the entire Naruto World had ever seen. He was so happy that he got this opportunity to fulfill his dream. But only Sasuke was standing in his way.  
  
Sasuke stood up.  
  
Gaara stood up.  
  
And at the exact same time they opened their mouths to speak. But then, before they could talk, The Squirrel caught on fire, causing the sprinklers to go off and the entire Ballet Class had to evacuate the building.  
  
They were forced to stand in two separate lines. Sasuke in one, and Gaara in another. They glared at each other from the lines.  
  
Zabuza wasn't really sure what was going on. But he pretended he did and continued singing and dancing and skipping and all of his other Multi- Tasking. As the author considers writing another fic about Gaara and Sasuke's dream of becoming ballerinas.

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